is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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