her vagine was all disorganized.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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