were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She announced her abortion via fbk
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.