I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment