Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

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  (651): my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing! (651): I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends http://tfl.nu/p5go
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (1820)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.

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  (978): We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted. http://tfl.nu/sak4
  Replies (48) Good night (1200) Bad night (6821)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina

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  (410): no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina http://tfl.nu/z7tk
  Replies (15) Good night (2548) Bad night (1039)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (7277) Bad night (985)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine

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  (403): You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine http://tfl.nu/d0ou
  Replies (23) Good night (2869) Bad night (1303)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart

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  (406): she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart http://tfl.nu/bwi5
  Replies (9) Good night (1600) Bad night (3662)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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  (403): Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon. http://tfl.nu/v8j0
  Replies (2) Good night (2047) Bad night (1023)
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  (415): View more from California

  i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation

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  (415): i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation http://tfl.nu/jvhd
  Replies (7) Good night (2223) Bad night (558)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wanna throw up and cum in that order

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  (810): I wanna throw up and cum in that order http://tfl.nu/1c7p
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (1351)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.

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  (505): As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name. http://tfl.nu/zb1x
  Replies (10) Good night (593) Bad night (1637)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.

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  (847): there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/7c5f
  Replies (5) Good night (1174) Bad night (551)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?

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  (678): Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella? http://tfl.nu/jjvm
  Replies (7) Good night (1317) Bad night (236)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...

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  (208): Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return... http://tfl.nu/xy3e
  Replies (5) Good night (640) Bad night (346)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk

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  (425): Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk http://tfl.nu/cwi2
  Replies (9) Good night (343) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams

  (226): View more from Ontario

  In case that's what u were picturing

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  (226): I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams (226): In case that's what u were picturing http://tfl.nu/1xa1
  Replies (1) Good night (300) Bad night (198)

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