You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
