Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
you never un-have a 4some
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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