well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
