Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize