He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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