just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
