New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
