YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
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