Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this will be a night to untag.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
