your thong is hanging out like whoa
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize