Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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