You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
