why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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