So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
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Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
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I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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