I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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