the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
