Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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