Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
