we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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