9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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