you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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