her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
