i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just high enough for therapy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
