and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
