things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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