I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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