Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
