I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I cockslap morals
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize