i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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