5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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