Texts From Last Night

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  (936): View more from Texas

  Bea Arthur died! :(

  (214): View more from Texas

  What?

  (936): View more from Texas

  Big bird passed.

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  (936):Bea Arthur died! :( (214):What? (936):Big bird passed. http://tfl.nu/7dhn
  Replies (8) Good night (646) Bad night (1137)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?

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  (224): So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went? http://tfl.nu/eczc
  Replies (46) Good night (4474) Bad night (988)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"

  (206): View more from Washington

  do it. it's every man's dream.

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  (425): i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?" (206): do it. it's every man's dream. http://tfl.nu/a31t
  Replies (28) Good night (7181) Bad night (884)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am

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  (302): in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am http://tfl.nu/qmyh
  Replies (5) Good night (2381) Bad night (1396)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

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  (513): I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration http://tfl.nu/y2rq
  Replies (20) Good night (1689) Bad night (2544)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP

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  (850): ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP http://tfl.nu/qpvz
  Replies (1) Good night (1085) Bad night (1070)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.

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  (770): She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up. http://tfl.nu/832z
  Replies (11) Good night (759) Bad night (2188)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.

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  (519): And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication. http://tfl.nu/rgq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1039) Bad night (482)
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  (831): View more from California

  think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.

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  (831): think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout. http://tfl.nu/imuz
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (314)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.

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  (541): Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/2v18
  Replies (0) Good night (443) Bad night (274)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time

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  (928): So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time http://tfl.nu/6mpm
  Replies (5) Good night (1367) Bad night (297)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.

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  (479): He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes. http://tfl.nu/8po9
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (246)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.

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  (248): IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD. http://tfl.nu/67ij
  Replies (6) Good night (910) Bad night (383)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already

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  (303): He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already http://tfl.nu/7hnl
  Replies (1) Good night (253) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.

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  (206): Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome. http://tfl.nu/oir7
  Replies (3) Good night (377) Bad night (288)

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