you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"