Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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  (646): Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down. http://tfl.nu/gdah
  Replies (36) Good night (1243) Bad night (3448)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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  (310): i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto" http://tfl.nu/o359
  Replies (18) Good night (791) Bad night (4549)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF

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  (520): just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF http://tfl.nu/k653
  Replies (19) Good night (894) Bad night (4001)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

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  (254): his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/f6e1
  Replies (19) Good night (993) Bad night (9126)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"

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  (847): And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!" http://tfl.nu/eczk
  Replies (5) Good night (3929) Bad night (996)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls

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  (716): i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls http://tfl.nu/crru
  Replies (8) Good night (2364) Bad night (1276)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.

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  (903): So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/z5my
  Replies (18) Good night (1993) Bad night (992)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.

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  (913): I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched. http://tfl.nu/3b2v
  Replies (14) Good night (1283) Bad night (1581)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.

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  (414): I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment. http://tfl.nu/4r7a
  Replies (8) Good night (840) Bad night (526)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.

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  (423): What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there. (1-423): Call it what you want. You fucked a girl. http://tfl.nu/1fty
  Replies (5) Good night (2126) Bad night (874)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.

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  (845): You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts. http://tfl.nu/ido5
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (372)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.

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  (724): Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint. http://tfl.nu/2vjk
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (288)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm home now if you wanna come over.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.

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  (785): I'm home now if you wanna come over. (913): Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there. http://tfl.nu/5bkq
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night

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  (860): Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night http://tfl.nu/cju1
  Replies (4) Good night (623) Bad night (320)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad

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  (386): only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad http://tfl.nu/8a8k
  Replies (3) Good night (113) Bad night (318)

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