Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

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  (724): soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices. http://tfl.nu/oyfa
  Replies (10) Good night (786) Bad night (5613)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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  (636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man. http://tfl.nu/8qmy
  Replies (73) Good night (9152) Bad night (1303)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

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  (754): you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse http://tfl.nu/okem
  Replies (14) Good night (1010) Bad night (3491)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  did you answer or finish?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  both

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  (404): Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called? (1-404): did you answer or finish? (404): both http://tfl.nu/gzoz
  Replies (27) Good night (7390) Bad night (1012)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho

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  (310): Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho http://tfl.nu/chvf
  Replies (56) Good night (2141) Bad night (14959)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

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  (716): You can't have your penis and eat it, too. http://tfl.nu/3eoi
  Replies (14) Good night (2365) Bad night (1128)
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  (831): View more from California

  tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better

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  (831): tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better http://tfl.nu/2cpz
  Replies (3) Good night (1669) Bad night (481)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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  (+44): My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head. http://tfl.nu/1t8h
  Replies (8) Good night (2368) Bad night (798)
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  (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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  (619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1462) Bad night (438)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick

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  (804): You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick http://tfl.nu/kw0t
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (1110)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry

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  (803): He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry http://tfl.nu/mcy0
  Replies (4) Good night (335) Bad night (1198)
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  (916): View more from California

  We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate

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  (916): We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate http://tfl.nu/nz9m
  Replies (6) Good night (1732) Bad night (368)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.

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  (304): I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here. http://tfl.nu/t14q
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (275)
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  (916): View more from California

  Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister

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  (916): Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister http://tfl.nu/waln
  Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (280)
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  (631): View more from New York

  After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.

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  (631): After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly. http://tfl.nu/xlkc
  Replies (4) Good night (228) Bad night (515)

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