Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn

(706): View more from Georgia

And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

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(706): Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn (706): And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her http://tfl.nu/b039

Replies (49) Good night (3472) Bad night (873)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.

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(402): Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for. http://tfl.nu/14r7

Replies (8) Good night (921) Bad night (3748)
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(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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(315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81

Replies (14) Good night (6205) Bad night (850)
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(650): View more from California

some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!

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(650): some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel! http://tfl.nu/ztnc

Replies (49) Good night (1440) Bad night (4948)
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(845): View more from New York

I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount

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(845): I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount http://tfl.nu/tdiu

Replies (9) Good night (3497) Bad night (1035)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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(973): i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun. http://tfl.nu/edf8

Replies (30) Good night (3651) Bad night (1702)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

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(859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj

Replies (8) Good night (1769) Bad night (762)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.

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(540): Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run. http://tfl.nu/gma4

Replies (3) Good night (2026) Bad night (698)
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(914): View more from New York

Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

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(914): Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair http://tfl.nu/v5lw

Replies (1) Good night (1784) Bad night (473)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks

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(204): Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks http://tfl.nu/u0ub

Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (462)
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(512): View more from Texas

Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.

(254): View more from Texas

That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka

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(512): Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art. (254): That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka http://tfl.nu/nocy

Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (456)
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(805): View more from California

I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.

(310): View more from California

When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.

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(805): I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food. (310): When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis. http://tfl.nu/o33e

Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (292)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later

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(+44): at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later http://tfl.nu/ern7

Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (220)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO

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(603): YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO http://tfl.nu/9tng

Replies (3) Good night (771) Bad night (223)
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(613): View more from Ontario

We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.

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(613): We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/xkiw

Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (211)

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