I want to stick my p in your. b.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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