i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
