Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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