You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
