If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
