ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
