well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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