I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's shark week go big or go home
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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