Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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