# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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