I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
