That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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