Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
love makes seman taste better
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
