He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I want her autograph on my taint
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize