I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
