you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
