It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
