Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
