i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
