I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
