thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He felt like a one man threesome
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
